Friday, May 13, 2005

Exam stress? Or Monsters?

My thanks to Sexy Tom for this forward - it feels very timely. But at least I have memorised chromium and vanadium oxidation state complex colours, and the reactions of the copper 2+ and cobalt 2+ complex reactions. I went on a walk today and took them with me. I got a few odd looks from dogwalkers, as I was talking out loud to myself:

"...which will form a blue precipitate that turns pink on standing and brown in air. In excess ammonia, full ligand substitution will occur and a straw coloured solution is formed. This turns brown in air. In sodium carbonate..."

--

THIS IS AN IMPORTANT WARNING FOR ALL UNIVERSITY STUDENTS. PLEASE
READ CAREFULLY !!

There are crazy brain thieving monsters on the loose who are preying
on young innocent children of higher education and are stealing
precious cells from the brains of these poor helpless victims. They
are ruthless in their quest for knowledge and know no fear.
Monsters are everywhere among us and operate under stealth-like
conditions and often go undetected. All hope is lost for me but I
urge you to save yourself.

These are the symptoms:

- Loss of concentration
- Unable to retain information for more than 3 seconds
- Severe lack of interest in academic studies
- Desperate cravings for trash television
- Violent behaviour towards books and library staff

Many have mistaken these symptoms as purely exam-stress related
behaviour, but they are wrong. The monsters deliberately chose this
time of year as a clever disguise.
So, fellow students, if you feel you are suffering from the unwanted
attention of a mind sucking monster, this is the official government
advice:

- Immediately close all books
- Run as fast and as far from the library as you can
- Aim for the nearest bottle/can/glass of alcohol and consume all
its contents
- Jump around like a clown and/or stand on your head

Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to fill your mind with any
information as the monsters will only take it away and use it as
evidence against you.

They must not break us down. We must remain strong. The battle
shall be won.

Be lazy and crazy my friends and the truth conquer.

The future is in your hands...

May the force be with you.


--

Oh, and anyone who feels like being smart and pointing out I'm not a 'university student' yet, can go to hell. Basically. :)

1 Comments:

Blogger Kirbie said...

Damn those monsters! At school I always had to contend with the thieving gypsies who would come and steal my DT designs during the night and now this!

6:31 pm  

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