Wednesday, June 08, 2005

I've been to Heaven

I woke up at 5:30 this morning and looked out the window. The sun was low in the sky and casting the shadow of a beautiful tree onto the wall of the house at the foot of my garden. I wanted to get up and go walking in it, but I decided that a couple more hours sleep might make all the difference to my Chemistry exam. Good decision – I fell asleep again quickly and had the best dream I’ve ever had:

I was in a large house and it was about 10 in the morning. I was lying on a large comfortable mattress on the floor. I was (surprise surprise) in Pace’s arms and he was dozing, looking lazy and happy. Although I couldn’t see out of the room I could hear what was happening in the rest of the house and I could see it in my mind.

My 90 year old Nana was in the room next door and she was happy and tidying some things away – pottering around, smiling. I could hear my sister Helen and her best friend Elena playing out in the garden. They were younger than they are now. My Grandad (who died before Christmas) was with them, joining in! He was happy and younger, and he could see! And he was smiling. I could hear my parents downstairs – they were still married and making breakfast together. They were so happy and they were laughing and smiling.

Claire came dashing in and jumped onto the mattress, waking Pace – but he just laughed at her and she kissed his forehead and wrinkled her nose at him in an affectionate way and then hugged and kissed me. She had a card with her that she wanted us to sign for Ian for his birthday. We were all going to have a lovely party for him that evening. I looked at the card and it was already signed by loads and loads of people, all saying lovely things. Then Claire took the card and skipped out to help cook breakfast. The sunlight was filling everything and I felt so happy I thought I might burst. Pace breathed in and pulled me towards him and let me kiss his neck and his eyes went half shut in that lovely lazy way of his. Then he rolled us over and kissed my stomach.

Everyone I loved was going to be at Ian’s party. There was nothing wrong with the world. Everything was completely perfect.

I think this morning I experienced heaven.


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